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Post by King Joe on Nov 2, 2011 18:15:29 GMT -6
Boss: B L I Z Z
Rat: Embers
Psychiatrist: ZAR
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Post by King Joe on Nov 2, 2011 18:18:16 GMT -6
Office Update #1
Office UpdateNovember 27th, 2011
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BOSS GIVES NOTICE TO PREPARE FOR CUTBACKS!
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Today our illustrious boss gave the company notice that there will be cutbacks coming soon. Questions are flying around to who's job is safe. With how the economy is going even the thought of not having a job can be quite terrifying. The office has become quiet since the announcement as people retreat to their cubicles to desperately work in the hope they will impress the boss enough to keep their job. Who will be the fist to go?
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Memo From the Boss __________[/center] Downsizing must take place within the near future in order to boost profits while maintain a constant productivity. No one is safe. I wouldn't get on my bad side.
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Ask Mr. Important __________[/center]
"Ask Mr. Important" is a new section in our Office Update. Each day our Reporter (aka Psychiatrist) will chose one to send to the Boss' Official Assistant, (aka the narrator) Nightwalker. Nightwalker. will then send the answer to us. Check this section tomorrow for the first answer.
[/td][/tr] [tr][td] Anonymous Message __________[/center] Hello,
I am a former employee here and understand how you all are feeling right now. Like you might be, I was fired by your ever invisible boss. I have evidence that your boss has been firing employees for his own personal benefit (aka he's racist, sexist, and athiest) and can help you all out. With your help I can have your evil boss killed removed. All I need is for all of you to join me in resisting him. I know that your boss pretends to be one of you. He has a cubicle just like yours where he hides like a little beetle waiting for a shoe to step on him. Help me become your shoe by sending me your guess for who the boss is. Your votes must be sent to me through PM by November 9th @ 1:00 PM Central Time. You may tell your co-workers who you will vote for but that vote does not count so REMEMBER TO PM ME.
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Co-Worker Bulletin __________[/center] - Olivia Crowley - Does anyone want to trade cubicles? There is absolutely nothing wrong with my cubicle I just don't like being the farthest from the door. Please get back to me soon this is really important to me.
- Syko Nachoman - Does anyone know how to get bad milk smell off of the floor? I accidentally spilled some milk out my fruit loops onto the floor of my cubicle and it smells really bad now. I want to get rid of the smell before Olivia Crowley starts smelling it from the next cubicle over.
- Nightwalker - As the Boss' official assistant I am obligated to remind the reporter to send his question in by the end of the day (November 9th @ 1:00 PM Central Time). Also I must also remind a certain person (the rat) that he needs to make sure his computer work (hacking job) is done by the end of the day. Please direct any questions that you may have to me and I will my best to answer them.
[/td][/tr] [tr][td] Remaining Employees __________[/center] [/td][/tr][/table][/center][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
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Post by King Joe on Nov 2, 2011 18:31:43 GMT -6
Subject: Day 1 Project Report Hello Mr. [bossname],
My name is Nightwalker and I will be your assistant from now on. Don't worry your former assistant wasn't too bloody last time I saw him. I hope to keep you updated as well as I can with the goings on in the office.
First of all I would like to say that a letter came yesterday from the owner saying that you need to terminate # employees. I have compiled a list of disposable employees to help make your job easier. They are:
- firable employee]
- firable employees]
Please tell me know which of these you chose so I can write up their termination papers and escort them to the door. I can't wait ;D
The last thing that I need from you is for you to answer the Ask Mr. Important question for our Office Update tomorrow. The question is, "[psych question]"
Sincerely,
Nightwalker
Official Boss Assistant |
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Post by King Joe on Nov 9, 2011 14:18:18 GMT -6
Office Update #2
Office UpdateNovember 9th, 2011
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First Round of Firing
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Last night a source revealed to us that Serina was ordered to stay late after work. A thorough investigation revealed that She was seen leaving the office approximately 20 minutes after closing. Her eyes were red and it looked as if she might have been crying. Our suspicions were confirmed this morning when we came into work to find that her cubicle has been totally cleared out. It appears that the firing has begun. The question is...when will it stop?
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Memo From the Boss __________[/center] Downsizing must take place within the near future in order to boost profits while maintain a constant productivity. No one is safe. I wouldn't get on my bad side.
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Ask Mr. Important __________[/center]
Q: what main factors help you decide to fire somebody?
A: I look for the workers dedication and contribution to the success of the company. We are looking to maximize profit and if someone isn't keeping pace they are going to get cut. It's a hard-knock life out here in the real world.
[/td][/tr] [tr][td] Anonymous Message __________[/center] Thank you guys for sending in your votes. I was, however, disappointing to find out that not everyone voted. To find the boss you must unify as an office and make sure all your friends vote. You will find him/her soon...
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Co-Worker Bulletin __________[/center] - Syko Nachoman - Does anyone know how to get the smell of puke off the floor? Apparently that bowl of cereal last night wasn't such a good idea...
- Olivia Crowley - Anyone have an oxygen mask?
- Omio - I got a message from the internet company. It had something about us exceeding bandwidth...whatever that means. Does anyone here have a clue what the heck they're talking about? I sure-as-heck don't.
- Nightwalker - As the Boss' official assistant I am obligated to remind the reporter to send his question in by the end of the day (November 9th @ 1:00 PM Central Time). Also I must also remind a certain person (the rat) that he needs to make sure his computer work (hacking job) is done by the end of the day. Please direct any questions that you may have to me and I will my best to answer them.
[/td][/tr] [tr][td] Remaining Employees __________[/center] [/td][/tr][/table][/center][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
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Post by King Joe on Nov 10, 2011 17:14:58 GMT -6
Office UpdateNovember 14th, 2011
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It's Too Late to Apologize
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Andrea didn't show up for work for the second time yesterday. Now it is apparent she has showed up for the last time. The owners made an example of those who don't show up for work. The boss didn't even get a say in the firing!
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Memo From the Boss __________[/center] One more gone and out the door. This time it was for the best. Someone just wasn't keeping pace and had to go. That was the easiest termination I think I have ever witnessed. A job well done I must say.
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Ask Mr. Important __________[/center]
Due to the ratings this column has been pulled.
[/td][/tr] [tr][td] Anonymous Message __________[/center] I can't believe you guys can't unite and actually send in your votes. Your lack of interest sickens me. I don't know why i even bother but get me your votes by 1 P.M. Central Time on November 16th
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Co-Worker Bulletin __________[/center] - Nightwalker - Everyone must send in their votes and other things to me by 1 P.M. Central Time on November 16th
[/td][/tr] [tr][td] Remaining Employees __________[/center] [/td][/tr][/table][/center][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
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Post by King Joe on Nov 17, 2011 21:37:04 GMT -6
Office UpdateNovember 17th, 2011
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Late for work? Not any more...
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Syko beligerantly decided to not show up for work two days in a row...now he's out looking for a job.
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Memo From the Boss __________[/center] The downsizing is going very smoothly with nothing to complain about. Those who have do nothing are being ousted and those who are hard at work have continued on. Keep up the work or see your way out.
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Ask Mr. Important __________[/center]
Due to the ratings this column has been pulled.
[/td][/tr] [tr][td] Anonymous Message __________[/center] You guys are in deep trouble 10 P.M. Central Time on November 18th
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Co-Worker Bulletin __________[/center] - YANG - Chocolate in my cubical for all fellow remaining employees. Congratulations for making it this far.
- Nightwalker - Everyone must send in their votes and other things to me by 1 P.M. Central Time on November 16th
[/td][/tr] [tr][td] Remaining Employees __________[/center] [/td][/tr][/table][/center][/blockquote][/blockquote][/quote] |
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